Monday, March 16, 2009

My Butt fit in the Salon chair!

Beauty Salon chairs, movie theatre seats, airplane seats, office chairs with arms, bucket seats in some cars, all were a; what do I say.

An absolute embarrassment, misery; truthfully the words that come to mind are considerably stronger! It was one of those, take a look at the chair, estimate whether my fat rear would fit in it, then ease myself down into the chair one butt cheek at a time. Then pop! The butt cheeks stick out on each side through the chair arm loop. When you get up be very careful to ease out of the chair, or you are standing with a chair stuck on your butt.

Frankly I avoided this situation whenever possible. Sometimes it was unavoidable. The last time I flew to a business conference for example. The flight from Denver to Los Angeles. Cheek to Cheek to Cheek all the way. Fortunately the guys sitting on either side of me were skinny. Had all three of us been rather large in the rear it would have been something out “Saturday Night Live”. I couldn’t get the plane seat arms down over my rear, so I rode with them up under my arms.

Frankly I doubt if it was any more pleasant for the two guys, but to their credit they didn’t say anything, at the time. It’s not that the seats, chairs, etc are too small. It’s that my butt is to frigging big!

Denying it doesn’t change it. The chair is not too small; the rear end trying to wedge itself into it is too lardy. No, that was not a misspelling. Lardy as in large filled with lard-FAT.

Yesterday one of the things on my list as I blasted my pickup truck into town for supplies was to get my hair cut. I printed out a picture of the hair cut I wanted, grabbed my supply lists, climbed into my trusty truck and headed down the gravel road preparing myself for the “infamous butt-chair wedge”.

I arrived at the salon, chatted a bit and we headed for the torture chair. I looked at it, got ready to squirm and twist to get into it, and WOW! I slid right in. I stood up. Turned around and looked at it again. Then slid right in. No pinching, no twisting, no chair stuck on my butt!

Then we went to the shampoo station, and slid right into the seat. My butt fit in the salon chair. My Butt fit in the salon chair. My Butt fit in the salon chair! Gee suppose I said that enough?

I am one happy camper, lol. I still have a long way to go to my healthiest size, but I am on my way. I am losing inches. Yes I know I can tell that by a tape measure, but sometimes that doesn’t really sink in. Now, my but not having to be wedged into a salon chair, that makes a major impression in my mind.

Good by Jabba the Hut butt! As in a butt as big as Jabba the Hut.

Day 8 in my 90 Day Action Plan.
My workouts for today are elliptical and Hip Hop Abs: fat blasting cardio.

Oh, by the way, my haircut came out great!

Life is a journey, enjoy the trip.
Mary E. Robbins & the Hairballs

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