Tuesday, January 31, 2012

I Really Did IT! :Shakeology is the Real Deal

Day 31 on #100 days challenge I did it! 93min 12 seconds at level 4 on stationary bike.

If you'd told me a month ago I could do this by now... I don't think I would have believed you! I did it... I really did it!

The 100 days challenge that I am doing is to workout, or do some physical activity for a minimum of 30 minutes for 100 days.

Yesterday and today I started doing something different in the mornings before I work out. Since I started working out more my appetite has kicked into overdrive. Body looking for fuel and nutrition and all that.

No I have not binged. But I have spent my days hungry. The P90X vitamins made a big difference on how good I was feeling. I can really tell the difference when I take them and when I don't.

Yesterday I had Shakeology for breakfast. I had it in the cupboard and did not want to mess with fixing any thing else so I grabbed it. I noticed that I did not have that knawing hunger all day. I ate yes, but tat knawing hunger has still been there.

Today I grabbed Shakeology again. Usually by this time it feels like someone has kicked me in the stomach I am so hungry. I am a bit hungry but I don't have that gut ache nor the hunger headache.

Truthfully when Beachbody came out with this stuff, I thought yeah right. Yes I had a suck attitude. I'd tried different drink supplements before and usually they left me feeling like crap. So I didn't believe them. Over the past year I've used shakeology on and off but never really paid attention to what was happening.

I had not been very active for over a year, waiting for a huge hernia patch to heal into my abdominal muscles. The first of this year I got the go ahead to get with it working out. So here we go. Other than yesterday and today I have been ravenously hungry. No I am not starving myself, but my body definately needed more nutrition than it could get from the food I have been eating.

I don't know if I would have noticed the difference if I had not been so hungry all month. But I am certainly noticing it now. I didn't eat a mid morning snack, because I was still on the bike working out, and I do not have a hunger headache.

Consider my attitude adjusted... I will be having Shakeology for breakfast tomorrow morning before my workout.

My own negative attitude got in my way. This stuff actually is really good stuff... Ok I believe it now. :)

Life is a journey, enjoy the trip.

Mary E. Robbins


Monday, January 30, 2012

Week 4: Getting Stronger... Weight...

Sunday morning came and went. Frankly I had nothing nice to say all day, so I kept my comments to a minimum. No point in spreading the pissed off. And, I was truly pissed off. I doesn't matter that there were logical explanations I was livid all friggen day. Just mad, and my mad spread out over everything I did and thought all day. By evening I was starting to level off a bit.

I woke up before dawn with the wind howling around the house. Picking up sand and blasting it against the windows and walls. My house is a semi berm house so our bedroom windows are just a few inches above the ground. I remember thinking, I hope that's not snow being pelted into that window. It would have been a monstrous blizzard with that wind. Thank God (literally) that it was not snowing, just that miserable wind.

Sunday is my weigh in day so I headed to the pantry, where I keep that torture device called a scale. I got on it and the bloody thing did not budge. Still 300.5 pounds. I friggen lost it. I was so mad I couldn't see straight. My patience and tolerance levels were both pretty low any way. I've been dealing with an infection in my throat, messed up glasses lenses, and sore bloodshot eyes from that friggen wind and all the crap it's stirring up. The weight not budging was the last bloody straw. I was "officially" mad mad mad.

I am still a bit irritable over it. But much calmer. It did take all of yesterday into the night for me to get a handle on it.

Had I been pigging out, or not working out, it would have been, "well you messed up what did you expect". Well, I did not pig out, and I did work out, and I expected the results to show on the scale. Obviously it does not always work that way, immediately that is.

I have been increasing the time duration, and the difficulty of my workouts. Two days, on ranch rounds I lifted heavy. On the one day I maxed out to the point that I could no longer lift, I was moving a heavy horse stall mat. A couple of months ago I would not have been able to move it at all. The other heavy lifting day, the weight I was lifting varied between 40 and 100 pounds.

The resistance on the bikes has been set at 3 for the past 2 weeks. The first day I tried that I had a bugger of a time making a 30 minute set. I kept at it and by the end of 2 weeks I was blasting out a 90 minute set at level 3. Bounced it up to level 4 today, 91 minute ride! Legs were burning and my clothes are soaked but I did it!

Every time I do ranch rounds there's, walking, lifting, and endurance involved. The walking is on a rough uneven grade. Great for building leg muscles, core strength, and upper body as well.

I can feel the increased strength in my body just moving about the house.

The scale will eventually move, the increased strength and endurance is worth the stall on weight loss. I know I am losing fat and building muscle. Muscle weighs more than useless flab (fat) does.

I have an issue with the scale. Obviously! I thought about not saying anything about it, but you know that is a part of this journey as well. On the upside I feel really good about the workouts I've gotten in this past week.

I am continuing on my quest for improved health and greater strength. The fat will come off along the way. Perhaps not exactly as I would have preferred. It would be great to be able to just plug in a formula and see the results I was expecting. However there are a couple of unknowns in the equation; changes in metabolism, and increased muscle.

Both, changes in metabolism and increased muscle mass, are good things.

So here we go...

Life is a journey, enjoy the trip.
Mary E. Robbins

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Week 3: AAArrrrGGGGHHHH! Oh...Building Muscle!

It's week three weigh in day. I weighed in, and what did I see. That miserable scale did not budge. Yes my first impulse was to grab it and slam it against the wall in a full on temper tantrum. I resisted, I do not want to buy another scale. 300.5 - 0 = 300.5 phhhttt... still above 300 pounds.

I've logged all the calories, logged calorie expenditures, actually done the workouts, worked out until I could barely walk away from the stationary bikes.

I did the math and according to the figures I lost approximately 3.064 pounds of fat. Or rather I had a 10,724 calorie deficit for the week.  10,724 divided by 3500 (the number of calories in a pound of fat) equals 3.064 pounds of fat burned off.

OK, so what does this mean?  As far as I can tell, from the information I have at hand, this means that I have gained approximately 3.064 pounds of muscle.

This is why, or rather one of the main reasons why, I keep a food and exercise journal.  So I have a better idea of what is actually happening.

Yes I have been here before. Week 1 lose weight, week 2 lose weight, week three stay the same or bounce.  In the past it's always sent me spiraling out of control, or rather I've given up because what I thought was going to happen did not and I said "It doesn't work, why even try".

Not this time!  This time there is no second guessing. I  actually have the math to back up what I have actually done. Yay food and exercise journals.

I know there is increased muscle strength and endurance. That tells me I am building muscle. Which as frustrating as that scale not moving is, the muscle building is a very good thing for the long run.

Muscle weighs more than fat, it also burns more calories than fat does, and it gives me the strength and endurance to be able to do the activities I want to do. I can actually feel the muscles in my legs getting stronger, I can feel them in my abdominal region.

So what am I going to do? I am going to keep on keeping on. The scale may not

have budged, but I am still on target for where I want to be.

One day... one workout at a time.

Life is a journey, enjoy the trip.
Mary E. Robbins

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Week 2: Second Weigh in: Still Trucking

January 15th, 2012 first thing in the morning I went into my pantry, turned on the lights and stared at my scale. I knew that I had recorded what I ate, recorded my calorie expenditures, and should (note the should) have another weight loss for this week.  Even so I was nervous.

I straightened my spine, drew in my abdominals, gritted my teeth and, and, and, stepped on the scale. I made sure I had my feet in position, and then I took my hands off the wall and started balancing the scale. The scale I use has balance weights, and a level bubble in it. I lined up one weight, then started gradually moving the other into position. Watching that bubble all the time. First it was on one side of the lines, and then the other. Finally it lined up exactly in between those lines. There it was my weight for this week. I waited a second or two, not really sure how many, and took a look. 300.5 pounds.

Once again I am celebrating my weight even though it is still over 300 pounds. I am celebrating because I am still on target for my goal of being 100 pounds lighter on December 31st 2012.  I lost 2 pounds this week, 302.5 - 2 = 300.5 pounds.

So far this year I have lost 2 pounds for 2 consecutive weeks for a total of 4 pounds.  Not very dramatic I know. But to tell you the truth I have had about enough of drama. I am not going for the 10 to 15 pounds in a week weight loss only to have my body go into shock and plateau big time, or worse yet bounce right back up. I know the 2 pounds I lost is actually fat loss.

It's not from water loss, or laxatives, or any other stupid trick. That's right I said stupid; and yes I've pulled nearly every one of them in the past. Along with quite a number of strict, and I do mean strict food regimens, otherwise known as diets. I am so done with that crap. That's right I called it crap. I am not going to go any farther down that descriptive road at this time because it will turn into a full on rant, and that is putting it mildly.

What I am doing is eating real food. I am doing my best to make the calories I do eat actually be of value. By of value, I mean full of nutrition. For the most part I am avoiding artificial food products, and empty calories. That does not mean that I don't have a heath mini bar here and there, or coffee with cream, or ice cream, for that matter.  I just make sure I've recorded their calories and have a good nutrient base.

I am taking vitamins and minerals. I really like the P90X vitamin packets Beachbody has. I do recommend them. I also recommend Shakeology from Beachbody.  I do not use it as a meal replacement. I like it as a snack in the morning or afternoon.  I usually have a snack around 10:00 AM and around 3:00 PM.  One of my favorite snacks in the afternoon is an orange and a stick of string cheese.

I also make a point of drinking water. I bought myself 24 ounce  double walled water bottle and fill it at least twice a day. Most of the time it's filled 3 times a day or more, depending on how active I am. The more active I am the more water I drink. That's what I said, water. I usually put a packet of zero calorie, unsweetened electrolytes in at least one of the bottles of water. I am trying to stay away from artificial sweeteners, although I do consume some. I like diet coke now and again. Oh, and no I do not count it as water. Usually when I drink diet coke my body needs even more water than if I had not drank anything at all. Plus, my hands and feet swell up after I've drank it. That can't be good, ya know.

The other thing that I am doing is: wait for it. I bet you know what it is. Ok, here it is. The other thing I am doing is being active. I make a point of getting at least 30 minutes of cardio activity every day. That is my minimum. Most of the time I get considerably more. Just get up and move.

To start with I could barely ride my stationary bike 5 minutes. That's right I said 5 minutes. This morning I rode 3 sets on it. Set number 1 was 33 minutes, set number 2 was 46 minutes, and set number 3 was 45 minutes. I am riding in 30 to 45 minute sets because my feet, backs of my thighs, and butt go to sleep otherwise. I am finding it's more productive for me to break it into sets, then I can ride much longer.

Why so much on the stationary bikes?  No big secret, I want to be able to ride my bike, and actually be able to enjoy it this spring/summer/fall. I have a goal of  being able to ride a century in a day. I aim to do that by this fall. A century is 100 miles in a day.

Later, as in after this year, I'm thinking, I would like to take a vacation and ride in a bicycle tour. There is one in Alaska that caught my eye. Looks like fun.

Well that's it for week two of my quest to be 100 pounds lighter by December 31st 2012. 

Stay tuned in for a healthier lighter me.

Here's hoping that my journey will help other's along the way.

Life is a journey, enjoy the trip.
Mary E. Robbins

Monday, January 09, 2012

Weigh in and Thoughts: One Week In

One week in and I am happy to say that I am still on track for my one big goal for the year.  I weighed on January 8th 2012, and I lost 2 pounds.  304.5 - 2 = 302.5 pounds.  As of the end of week one I am on track to lose and keep off 100 pounds in 2012.

Truth be told I was rather nervous and wanted to get on the scale before my weigh in date. But, I made a decision with this goal to not weigh more than once a week. This goal is about improving my body's health, not being compulsive on the scale.

In some ways it seem silly to celebrate one week after making this huge goal. Yes to me this is a huge goal. To lose 100 pounds. Looking at that total totally overwhelms my mind. So I look at the goal in parts. Two pounds a week will reach this goal with a few pounds extra by the end of 2012. There are 52 weeks in the year 52 x 2 = 104.  I can get my mind around 2 pounds a week.

Each week I follow through is a victory. Actually each day I follow through is a victory, and  I am celebrating them. Each and every one.

Every ride on the stationary bike, is a victory!  Every bottle of water, is a victory! Every day I use the food journal is a victory! (I am logging my calorie consumption, and calories expended on www.everydayhealth.com in the food journal- love it)

I am logging all forms of exercise, it helps me to see how many calories I am expending. I am logging every bite that goes in my mouth, this helps me to realize just what my body needs. It also helps me to know that I can live my life without crazy restrictions.

It is wonderful to know that I can become a healthier weight without liquid diets, weight loss surgeries, and the rest of the craziness that is endlessly promoted for weight loss.

Back to celebrating my victories, I am celebrating my victory of 2 pounds lost, and consistent workouts and food logging by rewarding myself with a pedicure

Celebrate your victories...

I'll post again next week.

Mary E. Robbins

Thursday, January 05, 2012

2012: No Resolutions: One Major Goal!

2012 it amazes me that it is actually year 2012. I remember being terrified of year 2000 when I was a child. I remember thinking... that's the year I turn 40, and for some reason it seemed absolutely horrific. Well 2000 has come and gone, along with all the doomsday sayers for that year, and I am still here.

Of course we have a whole new spate of end of world fear mongers, and fear marketers, focused in on 2012. What do I think about all that? I think I will live until it is no longer my time to be in this life then I will no longer be here, and that is as it should be. I believe the fear mongers are seeking power by terrifying people, and the fear marketers, are using fear to make money. Frankly I believe both actions are disgraceful.

I did not make a list of resolutions for 2012. I set one solid goal. My goal for 2012 is to lose 100 pounds over the course of the year. Perhaps I should rephrase. My goal for 2012 is to be 100 pounds lighter by December 31st, 2012; and to achieve this change in a healthy manner.

I am not trying to lose huge amounts of weight per week, I am not weighing every day, nor am I obsessing over this goal. This time around I know it is achievable.

It would be great to have support in this journey, but with support or without it, I am making the changes to make achieving this goal a reality.

I am not seeking my family's approval of this goal. It would be great to have it, but if they resist my lifestyle changes, then that is up to them. I am continuing on. Yes resistance has already started. In the past I have allowed it to derail my goals and fallen back into old familiar "safe" routines.

Change tends to scare people. It seems to scare the people closest to you the most. I am sorry for their fear and uncertainty; but that is something they are going to have to deal with themselves. I choose to not live this fat unhealthy miserable lifestyle any longer. This is my choice. I am sorry if it scares you but I am continuing on with my quest.

I am hoping that the changes I am making in my lifestyle will encourage my family to make healthy changes as well. I am rather of worried about my husband, but he has to make his own decisions, I can not do it for him. That's been a really tough lesson for me to learn. I have always been one for trying "to fix" everything for those I care about. Taking responsibility for making everything "ok" for everyone. By the way, that does not work. Each of us is responsible for ourselves, it would be great if we could make it "ok" for others but it just does not work that way. What it does do is turn relationships into codependent enabler relationships, and frankly that is not healthy for anyone.

2011 was a year of healing, recuperation, and discovery, for me. My activity level was extremely limited after surgery in January 2011. I have not been that helpless and needy since I was a small child. The surgeon was right, it has taken the full year to recover, and heal my body.

The reduced activity level resulted in loss of muscle mass, I was amazed at how much. However, I am rebuilding in a steady, paced manner.

The major discovery was emotional, psychological, in nature. I discovered what was behind my compulsive binging behavior. As a result the compulsion to binge is gone. That is so wonderful! On the other hand, now I am experiencing on a daily basis, the emotions I was eating, so to speak. Allowing myself to actually experience these emotions has been a challenging process.

There was a phenomenal amount of anger, pain, feelings of betrayal, grief, rage, depression, and so on buried in layers of fat. I was eating my emotions, numbing myself to them. Only to have the dam burst periodically resulting in a massive flood of overwhelming emotions. It is actually quite wonderful to be out of that cycle.

All in all it is a good change. I am no longer binging, nor am I living in the past or the future. I am actually living now, in the moment. Life can be pretty wonderful lived in the moment.

The Serenity Prayer has become a Huge part of my life. It has been instrumental in helping me to get past massive panic attacks, and to accept the reality that I can not control everything. Also that I am not "responsible for" nor "required to control" everything.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

It is ok to just be me. I do not have to be who anyone else expects me to be, or demands me to be... It is ok to enjoy the moment... to appreciate the moment... to just live. By the way, it's ok for you to just be you as well. :)

Living life in 2012, one moment at a time.

Life is a journey, enjoy the trip.
Mary E. Robbins